Warm And Memory Lost

Of late I have been forced to look at a couples lifetime accumulations and decide how they are to be disposed of.  It is extremely difficult because the value of each item is not measured in utility but in sentiment.  It is much like parting with your personhood, familiarity of the common things of life creates for us a true sense of secure belonging and belonging is the peace of life.  That is what has shocked and hurt me, that these objects posses such a security of history for “me belonging” and are now being given away.  No!  What hurts so much is that collectively they made absolutely familiar the place I had for 59 years known as home and that home is now, not being moved, but being dispersed of.  It reminds me much of a warm fire.  As a fire it serves me well but once that heat energy has dispersed itself into the cosmos it is forever lost to warm me. Having ones things, even after the one has passed away, means still having some of them.  Disposing of all their worldly goods almost means an ending of me “having them.”  It is very true that objects help to make “conscious awareness of” possible.  It has become for me one of the greatest losses of my life. 

My most beloved father, Wayne Lee Benson, my mamaw, Thersa Cora Ferguson
standing in front of Big Rock Mountain.  That man and that mountain has
shaped most of who I know as Aaron Lee Benson.