Meaningful Certainty Meaning

I have been thinking a lot about meaning lately, what gives me meaning and how to live in such a way as to have meaning.   I seem to be much more needful of insured meaning at 60 than I ever was at 20.  Honestly I would prefer to live meaningful as to find ways to have meaning.  I can say with certainty that God gives me ultimate meaning but having confessed to that I will also readily confess that often I am unsure of how to live meaningfully in that certainty.  To be alive and to be living are two different states of being and I currently seem to feel as if I am only alive but not exactly living.  I also am increasingly aware that I spend a disproportionate amount of my life urging others to live which ends up making me alive but not actually living.