A Bone Awakens A Gnarled Mind

My lover and I took my mom, our ancient of days now suffering dementia, for a walk yesterday, me walking while pushing her wheelchair.  We came to a stone bench in a quiet park and set for an hour and visited.  At one time I glanced down and lying on the ground was a small bone, maybe an inch long.  I picked it up and was immediately taken by its exquisite beauty.  I wondered to what tiny creature it once belonged, how it had come to be only a tiny bone left, and sure its bones being beautiful it must have been as well.  Exquisite beauty found lying randomly on the ground, its perfection speaking of unfathomable creative genius, is like seeing a fairy darting above one's head.  Who can explain this?  I picked it up, held it out to Mom, and said, “Look, Mom, I found a bone.  Isn’t it beautiful?”  She said, “It is son!”  Some things are not lost to her mind, gnarled by dementia.   She knows God’s doing when she sees it.  Beauty is here to awaken even the olding mind to the reality of God is still with us.       

The awakening bone

The two awakened.

To Taste a Peach

My lover and I ate a peach yesterday, under a blue sky in the wilds of Appalachia.  Its juice ran down my arm.  It gave me this thought.  Imagine all the time imaginable and all the chances that could chance.  Could all that time and all those chances, alone, come up with the taste of a peach?  Not the peach or the peach tree but the taste?  That is why I worship, adore, and follow as Lord, my God, and His Son, my Savior, Christ Jesus, and rely on His Spirit Holy.  There are no others.  It is Them or nothing and I have to ready myself to meet These Three or ready myself for nothing.  And by nothing, I mean no light, love, touch, smell, flowers, water, food, peace, time…or taste.  Nothing.  The taste of a peach is a sure prelude to meeting, and always being with These Three.    

On Guns

When I turned ten I got a 22 rifle for Christmas, at twelve a 16 gauge shotgun.  These were the most meaningful gifts I received as a young man.  They meant the world to me.  My father, a pastor by vocation, was also a hunter to put food on the table for a large and hungry family.  A part of growing up was owning and knowing how to use and hunt with a gun, target practice, and the expectation that this was an integral part of developing into manhood.  It was also an unspoken rule that deadly force was one of the responsibilities of manhood, hopefully, to never be called for, but understood one’s need to accept the readiness of it.  I still remember the first time I killed a small bird out of wanton ignorance of youthful bravado.  It immediately shamed me, I’ve never done it since, and I’ve never gotten over it.  Gun ownership and killing are a great loss for young men in America.  It is one of the greatest introductions to responsible citizenship and cultural stability that we have laid aside to the detriment of our young men and our culture.    

Our sons teaching our grandsons how to shoot.

 

 

The Beloved Truth

Who is the most beloved person in your life?  Is it your spouse, or a wonderful father, mother, friend, or mentor?  This someone means the world to you.  Now imagine that some townfolk bought a billboard on the main street in your town, placed a picture of this person on it, and then wrote the most shameful and hurtful comments about them for all the town to see.  The whole town rose up with opinions about the sign.  Some said it was ok because they knew of your beloved’s kindness and they would love the ones who put up the sign.  Others said it was wrong because it was mean and false.  Eventually, as with all things, the whole mess was forgotten.  The billboard eventually faded and peeled away.  But the pain of having your most beloved shamed for all the town to see remained.  You told your beloved you were sorry for the hurtful way the town had treated them.  They remained your beloved for you knew something the town folk didn’t; your beloved had saved your life years before showing you how to live in the new life they had given you.  They were not the person on the billboard nor were the statements on the billboard true. They were the person who had saved you from being one of the town folk who used to put up billboards just like that.  You and your Beloved went on with life. You knowing your Beloved keeps a record of everything everyone has ever done and will require an accounting of each of us…one day.

  

 

Lift, Glorious Lift

I heard a jet this morning and when I finally found it in the skies I was filled with praise for the gift of lift.  Oh, the wonders I have been afforded because lift exists.  While examining our navels, who on earth would have conceived of curved wings lifting us to the heavens.  Oh God of wonder, God of wanders, how I have need to adore You.  Oh, one day me and mine will fly with lift from the unknown glories, of the forevermore, to places we cannot even daydream of but whose sights and sounds will be glorious to behold–to behold on wings filled with lift.  

  

 

A Long and Rewarding Goodbying Hello

Father, I am growing older, my body failing in so many ways.  I need Your daily help to live a vibrant and faith-filled life.  Help me, Father.  What am I to do when the pain of the fall begins to creep into my very joints, it's no longer an abstract Eden tale, but a creeping insidiousness that gets into every crevice, every nook and cranny of my body.  Age makes the fall personal, gives it every increasing awfulness, I have begun to taste it in my mouth, feel its beginning pangs of death, and know my mind's failings, forgetfulness, and bewilderment.  Daily life has become an exercise in accommodation, planning easier routes, avoiding unnecessary resistance, finding a better way.  But Father there is another side of this story between You and me.  Life in the grip of the fall makes our relationship all the more personal, as my need for help increases so does Yours as my helper; “Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  The aches and pains of the fall draw me closer and closer to You, like old hands to a warm fire, Your care assures me of a coming doing away of all pain and sorrow; “there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”  And there is a grandeur of life, of living that only aging through the fall can mature me for.  It is an awareness of life, like an awareness of the air that envelops me now, its moisture and warmth I am now slowed enough to feel, the forest and mountains, river and sky all are part of Your ongoing care for me, abundant living life ripe with eternity even in the throes of death.  I feel eternity…I feel eternal, more eternal than ever before, a longing and restfulness in the wait, a long and rewarding goodbying hello; “then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

 

What To Do When You See Blue

In my readings and meditations, I am becoming aware of my need to experience God, to not only pray and read Scripture but also to develop the ability to experience my relationship with Him.  As I know Betty I know her best by experiencing life with her.  One way to experience Him is to acknowledge Him. The Bible teaches me to “acknowledge Him in all my ways and He will direct my path.”  This means as I go throughout my day to tell Him when I am experiencing Him, to smell a flower, see the blue of the sky, feel love in my heart, and acknowledge He is the creator of them and He also conceived of them; to thank and praise Him in a manner worthy of the experiences He is providing me.  The result of my acknowledging Him is He will “direct my paths”.  He will first direct my path to Him, to experience a deeper and more profound relationship with Him and in this, my love for Him, my need and desire for Him will grow.