I am filled with big thoughts and feelings these days. Memories that make me cry. Thoughts of long ago, long, and long ago. Feelings for places in my deep past, those early lanes, fields, and mountains. I think of songs I sang as a child, love lifting me back deep. I feel the delight of bitter cold and whizzing across ice on hard shoes. Long ago and far away I used to carry a long gun through the fields harvested. I was a pioneer, armed, safe and so alive at twelve, alone and stalking prey; adventure. I have long thoughts, 50 years easily tugged me to feel again. I had no feeling of my body; it hummed without my notice like the long note at the end of a carol. I am having big dreams of first loves, first kisses, first dying dogs, first knowing God. God was always and never was not. I am filled with big…er than me…and He gifts me tears to water these great thoughts.
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