My Christmas spirit is beginning to wane. I don’t know why. I am faithfully doing Advent, buying gifts for family, giving generously to the needy, and watching all the Christmas movies. I continue to read the Bible, go to church, and remind myself repeatedly to remember who Christmas is about. But it's fading. I have begun to see its end and the day after and know it will swiftly pass away, followed quickly by New Year’s Eve, and 2022 will close with its Christmas past and 2023 will begin with its hustle and bustle. My days seem to pass with a vague sense of searching for something, but I don’t know what. Like I am missing something but not something particular that I sweep the house clean looking. More like a feeling of, a sense of, something I own but can’t possess. I am once again at this story, got to the last sentence yesterday and laid it down without a settled end. After re-reading I now realize it is not that I have lost something but that I myself am lost, always feeling a bit misplaced, as if I have been put here but not where I belong. I am not losing the Christmas spirit but am not wholly with the Christmas Child. Until I am fully, physically as well as spiritually, with Him, I am miss-placed. Not lost only mislaid, like finding your socks in your underwear drawer.
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