"First Time Ever I" Left My Chuck Taylor's At Home

Last night I found myself in a crowd of strangers in a large banquet facility at a wedding reception, the bride, a daughter of a good friend of my wife.  There was great food, endless drink of merriment, music, and a large dance floor; in fact it was mainly dance floor.  I was dressed for a party but mainly sat alone biding my time until we would leave.  I am uncomfortable in crowds.  All night the dance floor remained mostly empty except for two little boys dressed in tux and Chuck Taylor Converse who continually raced across the floor, dropped to their knees and slide away with Chuck Berry abandonment.  I was jealous.  I so wanted to be that self-less-conscious, to take my lover by the hand and jump and shout and slide away and end in a dark corner holding her tight slowly dancing to Roberta Flack’s “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” 

I nursed my water and waited patiently until my lover and I could leave. 

                                     

                                   My favorite dance song.

Staggering Away From Your Burning Bush

Sometimes the time with The Great I Am is so Divinely Sacramental and transcendent that your lover, your family, the sun, moon and stars fade away and you stagger away from your burning bush, head in hands, in “awesome wonder” of who are you that He has been mindful of you and you understand “you are a man undone!”  

Learn On Bent Knees

I have learned (am learning) a lot about life from being married.  One of the most profound is how to apologize.  When one apologizes to another you must be all in, all of you, mentally, emotionally, Spiritually and even physically must be given to the apology if forgiveness is to occur.  I occasionally do it on my knees.  It is not so much that your spouse forgives you as that you have earned the right to be forgiven because you have withheld nothing; you are all in!  In reality it isn’t you or your spouse that offers true forgiveness, the kind that cleanses not repairs; repairs are fixed brokenness, cleansings are being made new again.  True forgiveness comes from One, Who Has Earned All Rights, including the power to make you new again.  Human forgiveness can leave us a broken down mess with repairs everywhere, not whole just a whole lot of stiches, bandages and scar tissue.  True forgiveness makes us brand new and then says, “Go, and give it another shot and do better this time!”  A new beginning, a do over, a fresh start.  And that’s what He expects from us, to forgive that way, to allow the person the fresh start, not holding them accountable at the next mistake for all those past mistakes.  And there is the rub and the learning part.  I haven’t nailed either of these down, but I am learning.   

    

HVAC god

81° yesterday, 37° this morning; the Twilight Zone of weather.  On some level I like this because it confronts me with my own limited control over my environment.  If I controlled the weather I would do this regularly just to show everyone else that they didn’t.  If we choose not to live in a constant state of gratefulness we might need regularly reminders, otherwise our HVAC will be just another one of our many gods—convincing us we control our environment.     

  

It is THAT IMPORTANT!!!

The most demanding role I have is family but it is not an obvious mountain ahead that demands my attention.  Having a family does not come with a beginning, daily or any underlined proclamation of its importance.  One must decide for themselves how important it is and then act accordingly.  What causes me to see it as DEMANDING is my own BELIEF in its importance.  Aristotle said, “Give me a child until he is six and I will show you the man.”  St. Ignatius said “Give us a child until they are seven and we’ll have them for life.”  A child cannot distinguish what is real and what is fantasy, all is truth, including media they consume and playground talk they hear.  It has been my experience that the time frame is longer but still just as important.  My wife and I devoted ourselves to training our children in the ways we saw as important, faith, family, courage, bravery, service, empathy, self control, work, play and perseverance.   At some point most all humans will be handed a human and told, “Here’s your new human.”  You will have to decide how important they are because they are yours!!!  At least for a few years!  But there is one other great truth that may not be so evident, in the demanding came profound meaning.  It has been, in Christ, the third greatest adventure of meaning I have been granted, just behind me being God's child and Betty my beloved.  It is life!     

7:06 Easter Morning

My wife has fasted from sweets for lent.  Her alarm just went off and within a minute she had Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies open and is feasting at the great banquet of our Lord, Christ the Savior.  I love her and I love Jesus.  He finds great pleasure in His loved ones, like the little children we are, with chocolate on our lips.  I imagine He thought of this morning at Fair Haven on the day He conceived of the Cocoa Bean.  Easter the great celebration has begun anew, thin mint cookies and Him risen!!!  Jesus loves us.