Searing But He Does Know!

I sat with my mom yesterday, we found her weeping in the hall outside her door scared.  Her dementia often makes her frightened.  I have seen my mom cry many times, tears of real hurt, pain, sorrow, loss, and disappointment.  It is much more difficult to see her crying over an imagined fear.  She is a tiny woman, not hardly big enough to hold much grief and in her ancient days she is often unhappy and lonely.  When I am with her she is singularly focused on wanting me to be with her, move here, spend the night, don’t leave.  It is searing.  She was such an independent person, always strongly present with my dad.  However, now the two have become literally one and the one is shaky.  Yesterday she said she was worried about being left alone and I asked, “Mom what does God say about worrying?” and she replied rather curtly, “Oh, He doesn’t say nothing!”  I can so understand, often our faith is so very lonely.  I pray continually for Him to be her peace, her courage, her warming, and comforting friend.  He is but her trembling mind may not be able to know—it makes “why have you forsaken me?” an ongoing truth.