My mom is beginning to lose her past, forgotten most of her lived life, unable to live in the joy of the memories of a life so well lived. It is nothing that greatly concerns me, her faithfulness has and is being meticulously recorded for her crown to come. What does puzzle me but doesn’t seem to concern her is what does her mind dwell on if most of her past is forgotten? Are the memories of all those meaningful years still there often drifting by her consciousness but she is just unable to recall them on my command? Or does her mind create a new reality that I am not privy to, a reality that is just as rich even if not reality at all? I had a dream last night that was so real that it woke me. I laid in bed and thought how real it seemed in my sleep but completely made up by my mind. Is that mom’s experience, conscious consciousness of absolute reality but more a mind-made fairy tale? In my dad’s last dying days he often spent the unconscious hours in his favorite pastime, playing golf. I would come in and sit by his bed and he would suddenly say, “Hand me my 9 iron!” It would bring me such joy sitting by my dying father knowing that to him, dying was playing a round of golf. Maybe my mom continually plans Christmas dinner or cornbread and beans for Mamaw, Betty, and me when we show up this evening—only in the world of her mind, a grace worthy of her God.
 |
| A photo of what a well-lived life's memory looks like. |
No comments:
Post a Comment