Desire vs. Determination

There are few joys in life; that “being” that defines life’s meaning. (Defining joy is like defining art, it is impossible but you know it when you experience it!)  The top two would be a personal relationship with God Almighty and a great marriage.  I feel under qualified to talk about the first and unable to talk about the second.  The reason is given in the parentheses above. 

One thing I have learned is that everyone desires great success in both but few are determined to put in the hard work that insures it.  

Lack of "hard work"

Love Is Greater Than The Set Rules Of Mathematics

It is wonderful to know the truth of “the two shall become one.”  It acknowledges that the cold set rules of mathematics do not always work, 
1 + 1 = 1.  When time and space separate the two of you the universe seems to set right its cold statistics and you feel like 1 + 1 = 2.  However the cosmos is just admitting its foolish blindness because the separation is just proving that 1 + 1 does = 1 otherwise there would be no pain of separation.

Humming Bird With Angel Wings

I am struggling to find joy in my life, humming the tune “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice…” continually in my head but doesn’t seem to send root to my heart.  I am discovering that joy is not a condition of ones life as much as it is a fact that exists.  In a cosmos where humans conjure up all manner of cause and effect it is comforting to know that joy exists.  It is not something that big bangs or even spontaneous creations can account for.  Joy is more than anything else, an acknowledgment that God Is and every pleasure we find outside of Him is a falling away from Joy. (A humming bird just flew a foot from my face, hovered for a second and flew away, an angel of confirmation.) 

Bray Aaron Benson
or
Joy

The heaven's declaration Ps. 19:1

Last night, as is my habit, I laid out under the stars.  The Big Dipper is lying parallel to north as it is for the whole earth including my wife seven thousand miles away.  That brought me some Devine comfort.  I thought about the stars and how they feel at being confined to the dark vacuum of space.  I realized that even in their fallen state, not realized as they will eventually be, they still hold to their course.  The finite beauty of fallen stars.

“Like a bluebird with its heart removed…”

I am currently separated from my wife by several thousand miles.  My back went out and I was unable to accompany her and my siblings on our European vacation.  The goodness in it is that I am, by every second,  reminded the greater the love the harder the separation.

“I’m so lonesome I could cry.”

Two great songs tell my tale. 

Old

Old.  I am old and because I have spent my body up in living I am older than my 57 years by a long shot.  My Mamaw is old, 99, which is ancient for a human, ancient of days.  I don’t like old, hurts like stone, but it is good to be old with someone else who is old.  My wife is older than me but growing older with her is like two great mountains lying side by side; lovers that define the term.  Growing old with her is the best way to watch the day end, life and time and each other are all that matters as the sun sets once more on a day that was lived together.